Why we settle for a mediocre life...

Why do we settle for a mediocre life? Is it a dearth of knowledge, skills, access, opportunities, encouragement.....or is it something else? Something more obscure, less concrete, elusive and intangible? Something, that lurks nervously underneath the surface of our overt confidence.

This question has stumped me more than once. I have often observed an intriguing specimen of human behavior in this regard. I now feel nearly confident that it’s not our failure that poses a problem; it is our success that proves the unsuspected enemy. The moment we rise above mediocrity and begin finding our way to excellence, we attract critics that spring almost out of nowhere. 

Being our best and becoming more than what others expected us to become seems to startle people. So much so, that we begin suspecting our own motives. And wonder in the calm of solitude if we might have committed an error in judgment? A blunder in being seriously good?

Have you observed this interesting play of human nature? If you have, let me say, that this still doesn’t make our critics malicious people – just makes them human!

When we shine brightly, we unwittingly light up others’ life. In the glare of our glory, their complacency and inaction become painfully visible. Unfulfilled desires and wasted talents suddenly find a voice. And they struggle to respond, like a deer caught in the headlights. The ones who rise above mediocrity force others to face a disturbing reality – of being mediocre when they could have been much more. That hurts.

I remember more than one experience in my life when I rose above my imaginary limitations and became one of those whom I admired. Honestly, I surprised myself, and it was a heady, happy feeling. And my critics rose as well, almost in tandem, as if I had betrayed them and done great disservice to myself. At least that’s how it felt deep down.

It stung me. And I felt betrayed right back. Shouldn’t they have been happy? Ecstatic even? Now this is logic. But then, we aren’t half as logical as we believe ourselves to be. (It’s just one of those things you and I delude us about.) Tough but true. In the spur of the moment, on emotionally charged issues – we decide irrationally; and it’s not always a pleasant stand we take.

So, here is what I am beginning to understand about myself...and others. No matter how many critics and detractors our success and excellence gather, it is a grave error to change our track to accommodate their hurt and indignation. Because their sentiment is misplaced, because they have misconstrued our purpose, because they are unprepared for their own success, and because if we change our course – they might never find theirs.

To sum up in a fluid, graceful bundle of prose, I am reminded of this brilliant quote by Marianne Williamson.....

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

If we are really curious about my initial question, then maybe, we need to look deep underneath. Someplace that only responds to us, and something that guide books generally don’t tell us about.

PS: Just in case you get curious about M Williamson: http://www.marianne.com/contact.htm