In hindsight, my senior college days were the beginning of my journey to resolutely be myself – no matter what. It sounds dramatic, but then, college days ‘are’ dramatic and emotionally charged times of our life. That doesn’t mean I mastered the habit of being myself right away. Just that I realized something like that exists.
I now look back and wonder how I would behave, which friendships I would nurture, and what lessons I would keep in mind if I were to redo my college stint. Very different ones, is my safe guess. But then, life is not lived in hindsight – it’s all in the here and now.
At some point in the past, I was caught in a time in life where I was more vulnerable emotionally than materially or in any other way we choose to weaken ourselves. A desperation of sorts had gripped me, and I steadily became less and less like myself, and more like what I thought I ought to be at that point. No regrets, really. I feel fortunate to be over and done with a necessary part of our growing-up process. Disillusionment on the surface translates into illumination deep down.
At the end of that utterly confounding and frustrating phase, I had worked out a few things that have proven critically important for me personally, and helped me create this wonderful life I live and completely enjoy today....hope some of this might be useful to you as well.
- Recognize who you are deep down, at the most intimate level.
- Admit to your key faults, then do something about them.
- Figure out your top five most important priorities. Your non-negotiables.
- Dream big and bravely. They do come true exactly as you had dreamt.
- Respect yourself above all.
- Believe in yourself without a shadow of doubt.
- Don’t believe everything your critics have to say.
- Trust your instincts; they are the best decision-making tool you got.
- Expect the best to happen to your life.
- Be genuinely good.
- Don’t waste time competing with anyone else. Be your own best.
- Speak from your heart, or don’t speak at all.
- Realize that a great life is in your hands alone.
If only I knew this many years ago!
Though on second and considered thought, I think it’s best we all bear our cross when we need to. Despair doesn’t lead to anywhere else but our self. Your trip might be amazingly rewarding and lead to dazzling self-discoveries. It is better to go through your hardships with courage, so you can proudly come through them and empty the baggage at the end of your journey. I am very confident you will find a treasure trove of lessons learned and resolves made, of new beginnings and solid foundations, and of knowing yourself – above all.
After many experiences in this direction, I’ve come to believe that being ourselves is a comparatively easy and happy place to find; way easier than you might believe at first go. It’s the being-someone-else game that is so hard to play and no fun at all.
Who are you choosing to be today?
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