10 Tips on not losing sleep over others....

How do I preserve my peace of mind? I've wondered often, especially....when I lose it. Annoyingly so, one loses it over trivialities than earth-shattering issues. A jibe from someone, a sarcastic remark, callous behavior, hurtful tone, unkind laughter, and most often....judgments that others make a business of heaping on you. 

Experience has taught me, I would rather lose sleep over pesky mosquitoes in my room than over someone who thinks too much of themselves and too little of me. That sounds dangerously like an unreasonable person who can't be made happy - not now and not in the future. Nothing could be a greater waste of time, positive energy, and stamina than to try and please or convince people like this.  

Yet I hear often from others that they are unhappy because someone criticized them, or didn't appreciate their genuine effort, or suspected their good intentions, or said hurtful things knowing the effect if would have on them. Ask yourself this good question - Why would you allow someone to do this to you?

Peace of mind might not be a fashionable term. Yet, with passing years, I yearn for it even more than I do for success or money. Let's aspire this New Years to make peace a part of our mind space.

Here's my recipe - The Top 10 tips on preserving your peace of mind. Hope you find it useful:

1. Beware of the opinions of others. Weigh them before you buy them.

2. Give yourself credit for your intelligence and wisdom. Don't wait to be told you are good enough.

3. Be sure that we all spend more time learning than making mistakes. Though it seems the other way round.

4. Smile generously upon criticism. You probably know what you aren't good at anyway.

5. Accept that your best efforts might not be appreciated. Say a word of appreciation to yourself.

6. Know that some people will never be pleased - it's their problem, not yours! Though this also seems the other way round.

7. Remember you are as imperfect as the other person. We are just imperfect at different things.

8. Realize that those who judge you unfairly create a devil in their own minds before they might in yours.

9. Understand that the most unpleasant ones are fighting their own demons. It doesn't have so much to do with you.

10. Always remember that depending on someone else to make you feel great  leads to heartache. Know that you did your best, then let it go.

Next time you lose sleep over someone or something, remember that we are all headed to one common, inevitable destination. Including the other person. In the larger scheme of life and things what is bothering you is miniscule compared to what you could celebrate.

Are you happy today?

I think I've written more blogs about 'happiness' than any other worthy topic. I feel strongly about being happy people because it appears to be the cornerstone of all other accomplishments. Unhappy people seem to breed failure, and happy people seem to choose success. 

I've come full circle in my constant pursuit of happiness. I began by not reading about being happy, then reading a lot, then experimenting all by myself, then failing miserably and getting depressed anyway. Then I tried reading complicated books about it, then I watched happy people in the hope of learning happiness. Then I read simpler books, and observed some more people being happy. I continued to be happy and unhappy nevertheless. Inconsistency gets to me. I like striving for consistency and find it tough, honestly.

The pursuit of happiness continues - HOW can I be happy for 90% of my life leaving only a measly 10% for the unhappy part. Just like 90% ought be healthy and 10% in a sick bed. I had to apportion a part to both kinds of mental states because all wise people say that life is a mix of the opposites, and the ups and downs are not just inevitable, but desirable. 

Point taken. We hardly learn from being happy has been my refrain as well. But I've discovered that a very short spell of wretchedness is quite enough to make me learn. I am a quick study. I resolutely want to be happy - all the time, if possible. 

So this is what I do now. I LIVE my life everyday. Which means I focus on doing things that I like to do. Most importantly, these few things I like to do seem to produce more things I like to do. Through this strategy, happy opportunities and happy moments are produced quicker than even rabbits multiplying. 

Just today, all I wanted to do was sit in the sun and read a book by Tony Robbins called, 'Unlimited Power'. That's exactly what I went ahead and did. Could I have been writing a book of my own in that time? Yes, probably. But I chose to succumb to the urge of doing this happy thing. Just one hour of this made me insanely happy. Now I am back at my work desk and I am very productive and very happy. 

I am writing this in my most free and happy states of mind. I've learned not to feel guilty about these small, everyday pleasures of life. I absolutely love the thrill of doing tiny things that make me feel great. Let's make life worth living every day. Many people in our world are waiting for that one spectacular day to make it worth while to be on this planet. You and I know that it doesn't work like that - life is right here in the apparent ordinariness of everyday - not in the illusion of a special day in the future. 

So let's be as happy as we can today - right now - in this moment. I am. Are you?

Why you must never give up.....

Long ago, in another land, I was a bright eyed, bushy tailed MBA aspirant. There stood between me and the degree I pined for a formidable competitive exam. As was the trend, I joined a coaching class to help me along with the exam.

My instructor said something to egg us on that left a deep imprint on my mind. She said....

"Don't give up when you badly want to give up...that's an indication you are almost at the top of the ladder. Most people give up and start climbing down at that stage, not realizing how close they are to the top. Keep climbing." 

Thankfully, I was young enough to believe her entirely. I hung on. I climbed my ladder. Not just that one, but quite a few others since then. But here's the trick. When every ounce of my strength and resolve is spent in trying to achieve what I want, and my efforts have come to naught.....that's when I so badly want to give up. Every fiber of my being screams in rebellion. As if waiting for that bit of clamor, a tiny voice miraculously awakens from its slumber, and says to me....march on resolutely, don't be foolish, don't be weak now, don't get tempted by the devil, don't waste all your toil and tears - not when the end is so near. The light is just round the corner....walk on just a bit. I nod in agreement though unwillingly, pick up the pieces and lie to myself that I have it in me to walk just a bit longer. 

And I do....I meet the dazzling light and all my pain is then forgotten and forgiven. Life gets its way and I come out grateful and chastised.

Life has a brilliant way of squeezing us through unimaginable pressure and agony . Like a rock that must undergo immense pressure, pain and patience before it pops out a diamond. Shining insanely in the bright glare of its success - no one remembers how dusty and black it lay just a while ago. Same above as below. The transformation is no less painful for us up here - the wait no less humiliating. And yet, life demands that last drop of blood and sweat. 

Next time any of us want to give up - let's go easy on life. She wants us to succeed. Fortunes change in a day. The last stretch is the ultimate test - lets be masters of the last mile. Never give up! Never lose faith.

How to prevent a bad mood....

Moods are slippery things. One moment you want to conquer the world, the next you're so bored you could be counting the spiders hanging from your ceiling. It seriously bothers me when I don't feel as happy, excited, and charged up as I would like to. And I don't want to dismiss it in the name of my overactive female hormones. I've seen men go through mood swings, too.

So here are my FIVE proven strategies to elevate your mood this holiday season...beginning now! (Of course, eating chocolates and cakes works too!)

Remember - moods make you move! A bad mood can waste your most precious time and energy on brooding over all the wrong stuff OR a fabulous mood can help you take action and achieve big things in life! The choice is ours....read on. 

1. Wake up to shake up - waking up with the crows and before the sun rises helps you kick start your normal bio clock - just the way nature meant it to be. Plenty of time to sleep when we are dead, as someone wise said.

2. Get moving - cliched, but true. An unmoving lifestyle that keeps you in a chair/sofa for hours on end is a sure shot way for lethargy to creep up on your mood. Brisk walk/jog for just 20 mins everyday to elevate your mood to 'happy' and 'excited'. I've tried it, and I so enjoy it.

3. Chunk that schedule - nothing demotivates me more than lingering on a task for 3 hours non-stop. Research has proven that working in 90 minute chunks with a 15 min rejuvenating break in between makes us most productive and happy. Try it today!

4. Start it right - begin your day with either listening, reading, talking, watching something uplifting and positive. Protect your mood when it matters the most. Avoid toxic people, TV, and newspapers. I love this one.

5. Align it right - doing what you don't like is a serious and long-term mood spoiler. Align your life and your work to your desires and goals. This is a long-term mood saver, and one of my important personal discoveries.

Hope these five proven strategies help you in making your mood a more steady part of your mental health, than just something you leave to chance.

A super happy day ahead to all of you!

Interview

Thanks to the publications, I get an opportunity to talk about my work and life, and what I believe in. Hope you find it useful and enjoyable. 

Published in Chillibreeze - 2011
http://chillibreeze.in/writer-interviews/chillibreeze-interview-with-sonali-masih-dsilva/