In favor of life....

I am moving from being a collector of things to 'living my life' with less things if possible. For a person who is professionally in the 'people space', I have been constantly 'space challenged' about the non-living stuff in my life. Somehow, my belongings always seem to outdo the space I have to keep them. As a consequence, none of my homes ever do justice to my things - and that means there is always less space for people.

The trend began early - as a child my toys overflowed from their rightful 'toy corner', as a young girl my beautiful clothes were always short of just one more wardrobe shelf, as a working woman my cosmetics constantly fell off their shelf. For most of my life, I have considered this normal.

It was only recently that I began to see the humor and futility of my 'race for space'! I don't need a larger wardrobe - I need less things! I don't need to keep busy - I need a better purpose in my life.

And here's my problem with hoarding things or being busy with being busy or taking care of things I hardly like or buying things I can do without....the more I have and buy, the more time I need to manage it. Somehow, giving so much of my precious time, energy and money to my possessions seems undeserved.

In the natural course of my life, I now enjoy a good meal with a few people I like than a big party with people I don't really care about. I would rather ponder over the legacy I can leave than worry over breaking my grandmother’s crockery. And I know for sure that I can do with much less clothes and shoes than I imagined as long as I can look presentable and smart.

I guess this thought stirred in me many years ago as I stood in a graveyard to be with the memory of a loved one we lost. It was for the first time that I stood amongst the tombstones for a long, reflective moment. I had always known a graveyard, but from a safe distance, with the dispassion and detachment of a young person too far removed from anything that bode the end.

But that day was different, and time stood still. For the first time in my life I realized that death is a great leveler. Irrespective of my achievements, wealth, possessions or another person's wasted life, our stories would end up in the same place some day, and it wouldn't matter which one of us was better looking, or wealthier, or more traveled or had a bigger job.There would only be silence and stillness at the end.

I took that realization as something positive and not necessarily sad. So, this blog is not about death.....it's fervently in favor of life, living...and leaving a legacy. Because even if our stories might end in the same place, our impact on those we leave behind doesn't have to be the same.

Here's my discovery, we don't have to be someone great to leave a legacy, we become great when we leave a legacy. As we do our own thing, dance to our own music, follow our joy, chase our purpose - I hope we also keep a track of those around us, because our life's biggest imprint is not in the graveyard, it lives on in the lives of those we leave behind.

The art of letting go....

As I sit here to write today, I have gathered new experiences in this new year, visited a new place I'd never been to, donned the tourist hat and looked around keenly, met new people and made a couple of new friends. And of course....had some new realizations.

This year, one of my bigger realizations is to forgive more freely and have more compassion in any situation than I am prone to displaying. Not that I don't forgive or forget, but there room for improvement. I need to let myself and others off of the hook more often. 

Many years ago, I read this beautiful piece that came as a forward in my inbox. It was called, 'The art of letting go', and it had an undeniable effect on my thinking. I'll admit that I haven't always been able to let go in emotionally and mentally tough situations, but with passing years, I am beginning to see great value in it. 

I often ask myself....what makes for a happy, peaceful, and fulfilling day? Well, for starts not harboring bitter and regretful feelings helps. Not brooding over past injustices and the unfairness of our world saves positive fuel to propel better thoughts. Not letting grudges and anger fester in my mind opens up loads of space for better things to enter my life. Not holding resentments allows me to find more friends and less foes. It's all connected to the art of letting go....letting go the past and respecting my present more.

So, I am about to make a list of all that which has bothered me in the past, and then close my eyes and meditate on what makes me angry about that person, thing or place and then with all my positive energy - release my hurt and anger. I plan to do this until I have crossed out all that I might have stored in my little black book. I guess, we all have one stashed away and the contents always spill over into the worst moments of our life - reminding us of all the negativity of the past and present.

I am getting older. I don't have the time or the patience or the energy to brood, to resent, to show my anger, to take my back, to settle my scores, to justify myself, to rub it in, to indulge in regrets, to live in fear, to feel insecure, and to feel negative. I am done with all of these for this lifetime.

And I am thankful, because I now understand the value of the opposite end of the spectrum. All the above were important and necessary experiences. I would be incomplete without crossing those paths. But there is a time to cross a path and there is a time to recognize that road and decide to not go down it again. 

I think I have reached that point where I can stand at crossroads and choose more wisely. Forgiveness comes to me more easily, compassion does not feel hypocritical, concern sounds naturally genuine and proving I am right doesn't matter as much. 

Unlike what I had imagined - this an easier road to walk on because the fantastic people you meet on this path are people you won't meet on any other.

The 10 things to strive for in 2012

Happy New Year 2012! It's the New Year and I feel the gush of excitement and a feeling of unwrapping a brand new gift. It is amazing that no matter how tough the last year might have been, the transition from Dec 31st to Jan 1st brings hope, new beginnings, greater resolve, and new found determination to make this year the best we can. 

Among the many things we could do this year to help ourselves be our best, here are my TOP TEN picks.

ONE: Be determined. Keep plugging into your big goals to make them a reality. 

TWO: Stay calm. Don't let people disturb your focus over trivial issues.

THREE: Remain enthusiastic. A dull pursuit of a desire never got anyone anywhere. 

FOUR: Take care of your body. Health determines the true quality of our life.

FIVE: Forgive and move on. Forgiveness helps you to shed the burdens of your life. 

SIX: Create value. Create more value for your customers/ organization than anyone expects.

SEVEN: Take vacations. Refresh and renew your mind and body, so you feel energetic. 

EIGHT: Live everyday. No day is ordinary or boring, we make it so. 

NINE: Take care of your relationships. People come before things, money, and work. 

TEN: Never give up: Getting over your toughest phase brings the best rewards.