Interview

Thanks to the publications, I get an opportunity to talk about my work and life, and what I believe in. Hope you find it useful and enjoyable. 

Published in Chillibreeze - 2011
http://chillibreeze.in/writer-interviews/chillibreeze-interview-with-sonali-masih-dsilva/

Guilt is good...

I mean that. I feel it too. And it sounds like a mighty attractive title to boot!

Guilt is good. It is healthy. It is not all negative. And it is definitely not pointless. I discovered this as late as when I was in the middle of writing my first book, Corporate Nirvana. I wrote effortlessly about the secret to turning guilt into our biggest positive force. And I was a bit surprised where all the information poured onto the pages from.

Over the years of my voracious, hungry reading of books and resultant thinking, I have come to understand some tricks of my mind. But then, books don’t teach us the secrets of our mind – thinking does.

I don’t mind saying that guilt is the starting point of all that is good. It is an impartial critic whom we detest for telling the truth, but depend on for showing the way.

Till recent years ago, I spent hours and nights brooding on my decisions or lack thereof, beating myself up for hasty words and imperfect actions. Then something began to change. I began grudging the time spent in regurgitating the past. I started questioning the wisdom of finding my faults and absolving others of theirs. I am glad I felt guilty...about my guilt..!!

And this is my enlightening discovery. Guilt is the only way to begin feeling happy again. Without it, we would never discover the follies of our devilish mind. Have you discovered that unbridled confidence breeds corruption. Or that uninterrupted happiness hampers improvement. Though we are wired to be happy – regrets are meant to feel unhappy and uncomfortable. These interruptions are good. They jump start our life. We value happiness when we are unhappy, just like we crave peace when we are perturbed. Or how else would we know what we want? To me this makes complete sense.

But there’s a trick here – and a smart one at that. Guilt is like quicksand. Try too hard, and we go under faster. Let go, and we have a chance.

Here’s how guilt turns into the biggest positive force of our life. Next time you have deep, bitter regrets.....allow yourself some forgiveness and a generous distance from the past. If guilt is the protagonist of our past, hope is the determined leader of the future. Once we take this step, we begin to understand how we can set things right – or that we can’t set them right anymore – so we must let go. Like quicksand, life responds better when we aren’t thrashing about in despair.

My personal experiences have taught me the utility of feeling guilty, and that without it, we might never feel the powerful surge of motivation to set things right, or make the best of what we have today. But for guilt, we might never realize that time spent in regrets doesn’t make things right - but time invested in asking meaningful questions of our guilt, makes all the difference.

Guilt is good. So next time you find yourself there, feel at peace. Guilt has a purpose - of propelling us to progress, searching for answers, fostering forgiveness, and doggedly pursuing our best self.
  

Just in case you get curious about Corporate Nirvana http://www.flipkart.com/books/9380227856

Flipkart: Corporate Nirvana available online

My debut book is finally released in India!!!!!!

Very happy and looking forward to it's September first week launch event in Delhi, India. More details on that soon.

Corporate Nirvana can be bought within India on Flipkart. Do check it out.

Here's goes the link http://www.flipkart.com/books/9380227856

And I will be a very happy and grateful author if you can please leave a review of the book on Flipkart once you've read it. I really wish that readers will enjoy my first book. :-)

It will be making its way to key stores in India like Crossword and Landmark by Aug 8. If you wish to ask me any information about the book or where to find it in stores, do leave a comment and I shall respond.

PS: The book will get listed on Amazon in a month's time. I will post here once that happens.

Thanks a ton,
Sonali

What Nirvana means to me...

I've used the big N word in the title of my very first book - 'Nirvana.' I am sure to be asked what the word means for me. I don't mind saying that the journey of writing the book taught me the real meaning of Nirvana. I don't think I knew it when I started out or even chose to name the book, 'Corporate Nirvana.'

Nirvana means for me a few simple things - to be at peace with what I have, to enjoy the present moment, to treat this day I am a part of with respect and joy in my heart. And I do feel that joy, because I am alive, able to move around and do things on my own, not have to worry about four square meals a day, and live in a house that I can call home. I feel fortunate because I have so much to be happy about and therefore, so little to crib about. I know I live in a democracy and not under slavery or destitution of any kind, so I can go about doing my business everyday with my head held high. Wouldn't you say those are a hell lot of reasons to smile and get through the day like a star!

I feel like an absolute star on a daily basis - on the inside. I have begun to understand this delicious paradox of what it means to be happy. This is my share of discovery - the more we have and get, the less likely we are to be happy and contented. Sounds downright silly. And do let me know if you grossly disagree!

That doesn't mean I say  no to the good stuff that is dropping in my lap, lets say. But when it does drop - I know for sure that that particular stroke of good fortune is not a compulsory part of my being happy that day. Even if it didn't happen, I had all that I needed to be happy on that day!

Profound stuff this. For me, that is. Taken a long time to get this far in my head.  

So, I wake up each morning, and stretch and thank God that I have everything I need today to make me insanely happy. A moment of personal Nirvana looks like that to me.