Are you happy today?

I think I've written more blogs about 'happiness' than any other worthy topic. I feel strongly about being happy people because it appears to be the cornerstone of all other accomplishments. Unhappy people seem to breed failure, and happy people seem to choose success. 

I've come full circle in my constant pursuit of happiness. I began by not reading about being happy, then reading a lot, then experimenting all by myself, then failing miserably and getting depressed anyway. Then I tried reading complicated books about it, then I watched happy people in the hope of learning happiness. Then I read simpler books, and observed some more people being happy. I continued to be happy and unhappy nevertheless. Inconsistency gets to me. I like striving for consistency and find it tough, honestly.

The pursuit of happiness continues - HOW can I be happy for 90% of my life leaving only a measly 10% for the unhappy part. Just like 90% ought be healthy and 10% in a sick bed. I had to apportion a part to both kinds of mental states because all wise people say that life is a mix of the opposites, and the ups and downs are not just inevitable, but desirable. 

Point taken. We hardly learn from being happy has been my refrain as well. But I've discovered that a very short spell of wretchedness is quite enough to make me learn. I am a quick study. I resolutely want to be happy - all the time, if possible. 

So this is what I do now. I LIVE my life everyday. Which means I focus on doing things that I like to do. Most importantly, these few things I like to do seem to produce more things I like to do. Through this strategy, happy opportunities and happy moments are produced quicker than even rabbits multiplying. 

Just today, all I wanted to do was sit in the sun and read a book by Tony Robbins called, 'Unlimited Power'. That's exactly what I went ahead and did. Could I have been writing a book of my own in that time? Yes, probably. But I chose to succumb to the urge of doing this happy thing. Just one hour of this made me insanely happy. Now I am back at my work desk and I am very productive and very happy. 

I am writing this in my most free and happy states of mind. I've learned not to feel guilty about these small, everyday pleasures of life. I absolutely love the thrill of doing tiny things that make me feel great. Let's make life worth living every day. Many people in our world are waiting for that one spectacular day to make it worth while to be on this planet. You and I know that it doesn't work like that - life is right here in the apparent ordinariness of everyday - not in the illusion of a special day in the future. 

So let's be as happy as we can today - right now - in this moment. I am. Are you?

Get impatient with yourself

For a few short years somewhere in the maze of the past, I had become overly forgiving and patient with myself; a bit too kind, now that I observe in hindsight. I began to sweep under the rug my inability to rise above the clutter. I turned a shade too patient of personal lapses that further undermined my right to be extremely special, excellent in all my endeavors and exemplary in my expectations of myself. 

A few tough conversations and not-so-happy events shook me up, wounded my pride and questioned my identity – all in good measure and in the right places. Good for me. An occasional jolt needs to be scheduled, I feel.  

After fumbling, stumbling, and finally deciding to get a grip, I had this startling discovery. Patience turns vile beyond reasonable limits. To be patient with our inertia and inaction, to ignore the evolution and emergence of our best, most authentic and stunningly beautiful self is not a virtue.  Ancient wisdom considers ‘too much of a good thing’ a definite bad thing. Much like divinely sweet honey taken in excess undermines its own medicinal value. To put up with our unhappy, unproductive, and uninspiring lives is poison to our minds, and stifles us at the very core of who we are. More importantly, patience with the wrong things and wrong people in our life silences who we can become! 

I find myself greatly convinced to go with this theory of mine. How can such oversight and forgiveness – of being patient when we need to be impatient – lead to any good? That which is forgiven too quickly, is forgotten even faster. What of the treasured lessons then? How else do we carve those irreplaceable footnotes, scribbles and underlines that pepper the pages of our life’s book?

Don’t take me amiss. I am a patient person when I deal with those that demand the most from me, but I am frequently impatient when I demand most of myself. Like many worthwhile pursuits in life, this one’s a paradox as well.

Thomas Fuller, a seventeenth century English churchman and historian said, ‘Abused patience turns to fury.’

Next time a glimmer of impatience with your unmoving life makes you stand up as if ready for action, don’t shake your head and ridicule your resolve. Don’t slump back in your chair. If impatience makes you want to quit your job as you pass one more day in anonymity, don’t ignore the urge. Something deep inside, a voice that knows better is trying to be heard above the daily clutter. 

Let’s not be patient and ignore that voice within, because most likely, it is wearing thin on patience with us. Instead, indulge in the virtue of impatience. Nurture your own haste to see yourself in your grandest avatar yet. And watch life unfold in many surprising shades of a new you.

Three big ideas to get unstuck today...

A lot of us, including myself, have been in tough life situations where we feel completely stuck. Just the idea of putting one foot in front of the other and getting on with each day becomes so painful. And yet, nothing lasts forever.

While getting myself out of such situations, I have learned some amazing insights about my own behavior. And my guess is that I am not so unique that the same ideas can't apply to you.

Here are my 3 big ideas to get 'unstuck'.

ONE: Move from emotion to reason
In a crisis, when hundreds of things are competing to get attention in your head, it is natural to feel emotionally overwhelmed. Ask yourself one simple rational question. For eg., how would my actions change if I spent five minutes to just calm myself down or what is the best thing to do in this bad situation or how bad is this situation, really? Asking a rational question blocks the emotional part of the brain and we begin to feel less emotionally disturbed. Try it, it works.

TWO: Use the crisis scale
On a scale of 1 - 10, how bad is this crisis? Could it have been worse (gen. there is always a much worse thing that could have happened!!) Thinking of the relative value of the current situation will give you a good perspective on the larger scheme of things. You might even remember dealing with tougher times in life and overcoming them.

THREE: Every night does have a morning
No matter how bad the situation, time takes care of many things that we cannot on our own. Allow time and days to come between you and the event that disturbs you. Also, it is so important to keep in mind that life is positively wired. That is why we feel so upset when we are negative. We are made in a way that we will naturally move towards good things and positive events. Hope is the ultimate healer.

This is really my personal experience and I use these strategies to quickly get out of bad situations or bad moods, because I know there is so much to do in life. It is really not worth wasting too much time on the sad parts of life.

Being happy and being at peace are not events, they are a choice and a decision.