Be yourself - no matter what

In hindsight, my senior college days were the beginning of my journey to resolutely be myself – no matter what. It sounds dramatic, but then, college days ‘are’ dramatic and emotionally charged times of our life. That doesn’t mean I mastered the habit of being myself right away. Just that I realized something like that exists.

I now look back and wonder how I would behave, which friendships I would nurture, and what lessons I would keep in mind if I were to redo my college stint. Very different ones, is my safe guess. But then, life is not lived in hindsight – it’s all in the here and now.

At some point in the past, I was caught in a time in life where I was more vulnerable emotionally than materially or in any other way we choose to weaken ourselves. A desperation of sorts had gripped me, and I steadily became less and less like myself, and more like what I thought I ought to be at that point. No regrets, really. I feel fortunate to be over and done with a necessary part of our growing-up process. Disillusionment on the surface translates into illumination deep down.

At the end of that utterly confounding and frustrating phase, I had worked out a few things that have proven critically important for me personally, and helped me create this wonderful life I live and completely enjoy today....hope some of this might be useful to you as well.

• Recognize who you are deep down, at the most intimate level. 
• Admit to your key faults, then do something about them. 
• Figure out your top five most important priorities. Your non-negotiables.  
• Dream big and bravely. They do come true exactly as you had dreamt.
• Respect yourself above all.
• Believe in yourself without a shadow of doubt.
• Don’t believe everything your critics have to say.
• Trust your instincts; they are the best decision-making tool you got.  
• Expect the best to happen to your life.
• Be genuinely good.
• Don’t waste time competing with anyone else. Be your own best.
• Speak from your heart, or don’t speak at all.
• Realize that a great life is in your hands alone.

If only I knew this many years ago!

Though on second and considered thought, I think it’s best we all bear our cross when we need to. Despair doesn’t lead to anywhere else but our self. Your trip might be amazingly rewarding and lead to dazzling self-discoveries. It is better to go through your hardships with courage, so you can proudly come through them and empty the baggage at the end of your journey. I am very confident you will find a treasure trove of lessons learned and resolves made, of new beginnings and solid foundations, and of knowing yourself – above all.

After many experiences in this direction, I’ve come to believe that being ourselves is a comparatively easy and happy place to find; way easier than you might believe at first go. It’s the being-someone-else game that is so hard to play and no fun at all.

Who are you choosing to be today?

The advantages of being restless...

“Why can’t you sit still? You are so clumsy.” I heard this from an irate physics teacher of mine in grade eight. I could have said, well, for one you aren’t a great physics teacher, and second, I am the restless sort. Plus, I thought you were trained to figure that out about kids!

Now this kind of repartee comes to my mind only decades later and thankfully, not in the moment.

Since school, I’ve begun to see a pattern in how others respond to me. I’ve heard that I am changeable. And put too much faith in the potency of change. Trust people first, and then distrust them if proven wrong. I put myself out there too much and risk exposing my true feelings. Stretch hope beyond reason. I dream too much and too big. I believe my good intentions will be understood. That my ambitions are unrealistic most of the times. And that I get too passionate about things – if there is such a mistake. Guilty as charged.

Am all of this and more. I am a restless soul. Not in the sense of being perturbed in my mind or changing my seat every ten minutes. Not that kind of restlessness. That is unrest. The good kind of restlessness is more to do with being dissatisfied with the status quo. It is about being wholeheartedly involved with life and asking every single day - what next! Restless people can’t be observers if a life-changing opportunity springs forth or a dazzling possibility just struck their fertile minds.

I think there is rare beauty to the quality of restlessness. Nature wired us for it. Sadly, very often we choose to suppress it, so life can be more ‘stable’ and ‘predictable’. In the bargain, we slow down to a reluctant amble, much like stooped old people in a park. We learn to be more matured and less excitable. Only kids have the license to be excited. Maybe, that’s why they are so ingenious at success or getting others involved in their goals.

Being restless is a worthy goal. It has the potential and power to set us apart from the disturbing trend of apathy and mediocrity. Digging deep for our real feelings and authentic responses can be painful. What would happen if we accepted that pain and decided against the commonplace. The pain then turns pleasurable. And restlessness becomes an ally as we conspire to get the most out of life.

Be restless. Love to change. Get ambitious to do your best. Dream more, so you can worry less. Restlessness is the cure, not the ailment.

Dare to dream...

Dreaming isn't a hobby anymore - it's an asset. And a mighty valuable one at that. If you got it, you might have the world at your feet. No less. There were days when dreaming was not considered a real talent. Now instead of realistic generalists we look for dream specialists who have the vision and imagination to lead us where no man, woman or child has ventured before.

The entire talent and industry of dreaming rests on a special kind of mind that can disconnect itself from current difficulties and fly off to uncharted territories at a moment's notice. That can see the unseen and hear the unheard. It can paint with no colors and brighten without light. That's the power of dreaming...and dreamers.

Dreaming big is even better. These are special souls who can dare to disregard a dingy life and dream of achievements that score an 'impossible' on the harsh measures of reality. These dreamers make us believe there is a spectacular life yet to be lived. If only we believe.

Here lies that golden key to dreaming for success. Believe and all can be yours. What you see is what you get. Honestly. So we better dream big because no one knows if all that could be ours by morning.

And why not end this piece with my own quote: "The art of dreaming is a different talent than the art of doing. Though one without the other remains unfulfilled."