Get out of yourself...

Many years ago, I read in a book by Norman Vincent Peale, a phrase that has stuck with me. He said – ‘Get out of yourself’ – to feel happy and positive again. I didn’t quite understand what he meant, and how was one supposed to do this in the first place.

Very soon, I discovered. The day I was feeling a bit off-mood and unhappy, I decided to put his remedy to test. I followed his advice from the book, and caught hold of someone around me to ask them how ‘they’ were doing? As opposed to telling them how I was feeling. I showed genuine curiosity and concern about what was going on in their life? What updates did they have to share with me? Needless to say, the person in question was pleasantly shocked, and happily embarked on a story about their life and times.

I listened attentively, keeping a close check on myself, so I wouldn’t let loose my grumpiness on them. It was amazing how quickly my mind engaged itself in their concerns, and I sincerely began to talk about them or just smile along with their story. The focus from my own bad mood shifted to their life in a jiffy. In turn, I began to feel happy and light hearted again. It was astounding for me to realize that to ‘get out of you’ really means stepping mentally and physically out of self-absorption and obsession with our internal turmoil. It means to turn our minds eye to the concerns of others – to remain conscious that this universe is bigger than the one in my own head.

Recently, I discovered something of even greater importance – we can all help others ‘get out of themselves’. A few days back, I called up a young girl whom I got to know some months ago. As she and I began talking, I sensed anxiety in her voice, and asked if everything was alright. She told me how stressed they had been about their four year old's ill health, who was now recovering. Rather than encourage her to dwell on it, I really wondered how I could help her in some way. On the spur of the moment, I asked her to visit me sometime, so we could just get together for a cup of tea and chit-chat. She loved the idea, and it suddenly changed her thinking from anxiety to anticipation. She began to plan a visit, and even offered to cook something special to bring along for our tea time together. I loved this positive change in her that happened quite accidentally and helped her to ‘get out of herself’ in that moment of anxiety.

What a wonderful way to stop thinking in circles about our own problems and being useful to someone else. Most often, I discover that my problem wasn’t a big one after all. It was something I had magnified by thinking about it over and over. We not just step out of our self, but discover the real concerns of our friends, family, and business associates. 

I’ve been following this strategy for years now, and it has worked every single time. The only difference is that I don’t wait to feel unhappy to step out of myself. I do it anyway, and it makes me feel even more happy, uplifted, and inspired than I already felt. I pick up the phone, walk over to someone and get talking, or even go out on a walk by myself. Just one small, right action helps me to see the world differently.

Over this weekend, I will be getting out of myself every opportunity I find. I am looking forward to some major inspiration and information. Hope you find your chance to ‘get out’, too!